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[TV-05] A room of the Violet House

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Jas    3,543

<p style="text-align: justify;">[TV-05] A room of the Violet House

A room of the Violet House

Asian Labrys Forum

September 1, 2011

To Whom It May Concern

When Life Is a Girl

Since I was a little child, life was bright, sweet, and loving. It does not mean life loses its delicious taste when I am twenty years old now. Yes, it can be drops of honey or even a cup of bitter black coffee without a tiny bit of sugar. No matter what people assume, it has always been delicious, at least to me.

I appreciate every little thing this life gives me, and my parents give me. I accept myself for whoever I am. I aim to talk about that for a reason. I had never known what the definition of sexual orientation was. Deeply confused when I was trying to figure out why my emotion of love was different. I kept thinking perhaps it was because of my good relationships with friends although they were girls.

As any adolescents I was growing up but did not have a feeling for a boy while loving to be a good friend for girls. It was not until the age of seventeen, being a best friend with my two classmates for three years of high school. Time went by to take us apart. I missed one of them too much but not with a feeling of a friend like the other. Day after day I missed her more. Eventually, with the internet I found things to read and was totally shocked by the idea of being a lesbian, but… what exactly was a lesbian? I had always thought a gay should have been someone dressing up in an opposite way he was supposed to do. I looked at myself. I was a girl, completely girly. Though I had strong personality, I was always very weak in emotions, too. I often leaned on other people, and some of my characters still belonged to girls’, so why? This led me to depression.

Since the day I found the documents on the internet, I could not sleep for days. I started staying alone in my room, thinking of so many things around me, and hopelessly I could not find any answers. For one year I had been this way. Luckily, my college grades were not affected a lot. Sometimes I cried with my mother and told her I felt so depressed. She asked me what was wrong. I could not answer her question. I was shocked by what I found. I was shocked by the truth of me. I was shocked by deciding if I should accept myself this way, the way of the shocking truth if I tell the world. In my Vietnamese culture, the idea of being gay is still very new and strange. Not all of youngsters today can accept it, so the people who are like my parents can hardly understand or try to comprehend.

Of course, being confused too long was so tiring. I was tired enough. Consequently, I made up my mind a few months ago that I would be so happy with whatever would be would be. I would appreciate everything this life gives me. This was not my parents’ fault, neither was mine. Now I do not care who I will love. Perhaps, that will be a man, a girl, or even an ant, a stone. It is not important to me anymore. I know the situation is going to be so hard if one day I come out with the truth. I do not hope the world will accept that, but I hope with love, my family will agree whoever I am.

Life is tough. Happiness does exist or maybe does not because everything depends on the perspective of how I will accept the way of life. If I see it happily, I will see happiness. If I do not, I will not realize. The best way to have a perfect life in this imperfect world is to accept myself perfectly.


A lesbian



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daitrang    180

I know the situation is going to be so hard if one day I come out with the truth. I do not hope the world will accept that, but I hope with love, my family will agree whoever I am

Thích hai câu này trong bài viết vì suy nghĩ rất tích cực. Mình cũng nghĩ rằng, bước đầu tiên để những người xung quanh nhìn nhận mình cũng bình thường như bao người khác thì chính bản thân mình phải là người chấp nhận bản thân mình trước. Và đối với gia đình, xã hội, với lòng yêu thương và sự kiên trì mình sẽ thành công, dù rằng nó không thật dễ dàng để thay đổi một nhận thức đã tồn tại bao đời. Ủng hộ bài viết duy nhất bằng tiếng Anh :D.

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