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lam.pham

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lam.pham    7

Ephemeral love

Cuddling solitude

Silence is absolute

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lam.pham    7
Posted (edited)

A month of chaos

Of doubt and of loss

Grieving, I've done the most

Over the line I'll never cross

0-A5-D0172-9-F96-4-CE8-AB0-B-7-F98-B113-

Edited by lam.pham
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lam.pham    7

I digged deep into my problems, be completely open to every critical judgements, even the most insulting ones.

And I received a lot of responses, from discouraging, insulting to supportive opinions.

I accepted them all without fighting back. I apologized and I also appreciated for everything that had happened, the goods and the bads.  

Another thing is I got it wrong about what "solitude" means. 

It's not the phase that happens at the same time with grief. It's not about being lonely and desperate. 

Solitude is about being comfortably and peacefully alone with yourself so you can "develop better insight into who you are as a person."

But my mind is still a chaos with desperation and doubt and I just don't know how to cope with it right now.  

 

 

 

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lam.pham    7

Suppressed feelings

Taking over my being

The silence is raging

 

 

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lam.pham    7

Somewhere inside is the key

To everything I want to feel

But the dark summer dawns of my memory

Are lost in the place that can never be

Can someone please show me the way?

Can someone please help me?

'Cause I cannot see and the silence is raging

Memory

Inside is the key to my memory

 

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lam.pham    7
On 5/18/2020 at 0:53 PM, embetrang said:

c viết tiếng Việt đi ạ

C viết cho c thôi mà, nên c thích viết TA e ơi. 

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lam.pham    7

😩🤡😩😔😩😭😩😖🤡💀👻

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QN1203    19
48 minutes ago, lam.pham said:

😩🤡😩😔😩😭😩😖🤡💀👻

Cảm xúc lẫn lộn quá vậy Lam???

  • Haha 1

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lam.pham    7
11 hours ago, QN1203 said:

Cảm xúc lẫn lộn quá vậy Lam???

Tối qua say quá. Mà cũng may đủ tỉnh để không nói bậy bạ. Haha. 

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lam.pham    7

I have finished my second letter to you. 

It's the longest letter I've written to anyone. 

I'm not sure if it will be able to reach you.

I'm not even sure if you will want to read it. 

But I'm just going to send it out with a little hope that you will. 

I'd always prefer handwritten letters than emails or texts. 

It takes time to write.

It takes time to deliver.

It takes time to read. 

It makes me become patient and calm while it gives you space. 

And most of all, I hope by reading my handwritten words, you can feel me.

I've learned many things about myself after you're gone. 

So... thank you. 

Sleep tight. 

 

Edited by lam.pham
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lam.pham    7

Somebody told me...

When someone loves you, they'll stay.

When someone does not, they will leave.

Why do you always leave me?

  • Sad 2

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lam.pham    7

You are

the dandelion

the fading moon

the silent walk in the park

the random talks

the birthday

the film camera

the unsuccessful midnight sneak out

the surprised delivery

the chilling morning in Pai

the noon bathing

the fried grasshoppers in Chiang Mai

the puppy

the handmade cards

the gaming time 

the silly headscarf

the stargazing on the beach

the wave jumping

the bicycle

the chilling time at the balcony

the pitch black road

the trip that never comes

the starry sky

You are

the love

and the pain of my life

 

Edited by lam.pham

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lam.pham    7

Another drunken night.

I went out with my primary school classmate tonight. I was the main listener. I don't know since when I started to get tired of telling people about our story. It's like a vicious cycle.
 

After 4 or 5 glasses of beers, we decided to call it a day. Instead of going home, I drove around Vinhomes Central Park for a few minutes. 
 

Do you remember Central 3, our first night at Vinhomes? It took me 15 minutes and a round circle instead of 5 minutes straight line to get bubble milk tea for you because Google Direction sucked. It's like 10 years ago, my stupid Tom Tom GPS led us to a neighbour full of houses instead of a natural park. 
 

Do you remember our gaming night at Landmark 5 where I couldn't believe that you knocked me out in that Mortal Kombat game and your award was to see my hair uncut for 6 weeks? 
 

Do you remember when I was so sad because my pup had died and you gently tapped on my back and asked me to cry when we were sitting in front of Landmark 81? 
 

There're so many other details that I remember about us being there. 
 

I can't hate you. Loving you is too painful. And forgetting you is also impossible. 
 

Remember when the cop almost drew out her gun towards me? I knew that my life would get stuck with you. 
 

 

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sweetsmile    37

 it’s hard to forget your loved one when you love her more than yourself. Every memory, every place, and everywhere you’re together. Just let your heart do whatever it wants. Time can relieve your pain. 

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lam.pham    7

My mentor: I can't believe you're now 1000 miles back from your healing process because of a hidden note that you just found. Poor silly pudding. I thought our session had ended. 

Me: Have you ever seen any strange relationship like mine? 

My mentor: Yours is not strange.

Me: Is it a normal one, then?

My mentor: It's not either. It's troublesome and toxic but it's not strange. 

 

 

Edited by lam.pham

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